Perhaps I could be of assistance? After all, I happen to be awesome.
Everyone I know is either getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more AWESOME!
I forgot to go to the gym yesterday. That's 10 years in a row!
I'm painting a blue square in my backyard so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
Why yes, I do frequently burst out in song.
I can't help but notice that 'AWESOME' ends in 'ME'.
Think I'm tripping? TIE MY SHOES!
I'm NOT weird... I'm just cooler than you.